War of the Colossal Beast

(With the short: Mr. B Natural)

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Episode: This episode is *very* popular, mainly for the Mr. B Natural bit. I'll admit it was funny but not THAT funny, I think people just make a big deal out of it because everyone else does. So who started it all, and what were they on? The Mr. B Natural Debate is great! 20 *minutes* to rebut? Mr. T Borot? For the longest time I thought MST 3K Must be a live show which they later show tapes of, I guess they just like to give it that raw feel. Keep in mind, I'm not complaining! Best Brains can do NO WRONG!

Short: Mr. B Natural is the all time favorite short of many MiSTies. It's an infomercial for Conn Musical instruments. In it some emotionally unstable kid who is afraid of girls and yearns to be popular is visited by the `Spirit of music' who disgraces him, er her.. umm Itself by shamelessly prancing about in a most undignified manner! So Bud succumbs to the high pressure sales pitch of this She-man and drags his dad to the store to get him a horn. It's all very Freudian.

Movie: The movie, War of the Colossal Beast is a sequel to Experiment #309, the Amazing Colossal Man. For some reason I just couldn't get into this one. I guess I miss the impatient scientist. What is the mystery Gentlelobster? The conditions were such that the impatient scientist was afforded a certain amount of rejection, what possible connection could this have to the bomb? Can I go? Just let me go!! (Tee hee!!)

Intro: Joel & the bots come up with new names for Mexican dishes. If you miss this prologue you have my permission to not kick yourself. It's no big thrill.

Invention Exchange: This was a pretty neat invention exchange. The mads invent a Breakfast Bazooka because...

Dr. F: Breakfast is still the most important meal of the day. Isn;t that right, Frank?
Frank: Yes, Sir. As a matter of fact I usually try to have my breakfast first thing in the morning, which for me is usually about 2:30 in the afternoon! ::starts laughing, then the laughter turns to crying:: oh God, it hurts.
Dr. F: There there, why don't you run along and play, Frank? ::Turns to SOL:: He's in therapy.

Dr. F: Oh Frank, come in for breakfast...
Frank: I'm playing.
Dr. F: You die, Joe! ::Fires the breakfast Bazooka at frank::

Joel invents the Between Meal Mortar for those kids always in a rush, too busy to fill their bodies with life shortening sugar snacks. He fires a twinkie which bounces back at him and the bots, so Joel throws himself on top of the Twinkie to save the bots and it blows up on him.

Host Segments: Tom and Crow debate whether Mr. B Natural is a man or a woman, Joel acts as arbiter.

Crow: Mr. B Natural was a woman, of this there can be no doubt.
Tom: Not a chance Femme-bot! Man!
Joel: Penalty point for Mr. Servo, Mr. Crow begin again.
Crow: Thank you, Commissioner. We are compelled to look upon the `Mr.” moniker as merely a whimsical contrived characterization in the spirit of Peter Pan. Played convincingly by the late Mary Martin. And the late Kathy Rigby, and the late Sandy Duncan...
Joel: Get to the point, Mr. Robot...
Crow: The point, sir, is breasts. Yes, Mr. B Natural had breasts, a decidedly unnatural thing for a man to have, don't you think, Mr. Servo? When one takes into account the short jacket, the shiny leotard, the wide hips, unless one is wildly confused as my Colleague seems to be, one concludes, naturally, that Mr. B Natural is indeed, a wonderful, sprightly, albeit annoying, woman.
Joel: Thank you Mr. T. Robot, your response, Mr. Servo!
Tom(In a William F. Buckley voice): Thank you Mr. Uttley , ignoring the ?? held to me by my less than ?? ?? no doubt places a thin veil over an ??? temperament...
Joel: Mr. Servo, I'm warning you, no William F. Buckley impersonations under threat of a point reduction!
Tom: Ok, sorry. *ahem* Mr. B. Natural, what a guy! Yes, Mr. B Natural is a decidedly modern man. Ignoring the constrictions placed upon him by modern society, Mr. B Natural dresses as he does, just as he sees fit. If this means dressing in a shimmering leotard and a powder blue note spangled jacket, and climbing through the windows of young troubled middle schoolers to play clarinet with them till the wee hours, waking them the next day to whisper in their tender ears, I say more power to him!
Joel: Mr. Servo you're evading the question!
Tom: If by this, sir, you mean that Mr. B Natural is a man, I challenge you to come up with any condamning evidence to the contrary. They named him Mister, and I for one have faith that they knew what they were doing. You might as well just ask me to prove that a fish, is a fish! Gentlemen it just is. As for these Phantom breasts Mr. Robot claims to have seen, I say Phooey Kerflooey, perhaps he's been in space too long. Gentlemen, Mr. B. Natural is just that. Here's wishing we could all be just a little bit more like him, I yield the floor.
Joel: Mr. T. Borot you have 20 Minutes to rebut.
Crow: Mr. Servo you have GOT to be kidding me. Lets assume for a moment that Mr. B. Natural IS a man, My heavens what a confusing message to send to little kids. Already there's the painful feeling of isolation, the horrible scarring acne. And Mr. Servo, here, would have us place a cross dressing man with a clarinet slap-dab in their bedrooms! Why not men in Little Bo Peep costumes with stinky cigars explaining the facts of life to our unsuspecting daughters? I for one...
Joel: Mr. Servo your rebuttal!
Tom: Yes, yes, why not, Mr. Crow, I don't think we should stop there! Lets break down all the barriers! Hairy men in Spartan costumes holding bake sales on Shady Boulevards. Naked Jock strap wrestling! Big wonderful...
Joel: Gentlemen, I have commercial sign, I'm sorry.
Crow: Grrrr!
::Commercial sign::

Favorite Lines:

::Mr. B, the sexless man-woman gads about madly, prancing like a fairy::
Joel: I think Oscar Wilde only WISHED he was this gay.

Favorite Observations:

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