Star Force: Fugitive Alien II

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Episode: This is better than average but for some reason it does not keep my attention very well. There are some great gags in there, very funny riffs and the Rocky the Squirrel bit cracks me up every time. I made a wav file of when Joel says (as Captain Joe) “Mmmm Hmmm, that's good (something-or-other, but it sounds like E-mail)” which I use as my new mail sound.

Movie: I give the movie a thumbs up for trying. It certainly tries to be good. And I got to tip my hat to the guy that plays Captain Joe, he's not exactly the best looking actor I've seen (Sort of reminiscent of The Wind Demon from Experiment 617) but he showed up to the auditions, read his lines, got the job and made the movie! He's spending his hard earned $$$ on things he probably really needs, yet he doesn't strike me as the kind of guy who would put all his faith in getting that job. Where ever he is, whatever he's doing. I'm sure he's doing well.

Intro: We open up on a discussion between Tom and Crow...

Crow: Ok, I'm up to speed so far, your argument is that Big Bird cannot be considered a puppet because of his, or her... it's size.
Tom: Right, size and don't forget feet, once a puppet has feet it ceases being a puppet and starts being a costume.
Crow: What about Topo Gigio, he was a puppet with feet.
Tom: Oh, give me a break! If you want to get technical Lambchop had feet too. Topo Gigio was an Italian ??? rod puppet, that's a subcategory!
Crow: Oh, look who's arguing semantics now!
::Joel pops up in front of the camera::
Joel: Hi everybody, welcome to the Satellite of Love, I'm Joel Robinson. Looks like we've stumbled upon the Bot's weekly ontological discussion about the nature of puppets
Crow: And their symbiotic relationship to man...
Joel: Right, and their symbiotic relationship to man.. let's watch the fireworks...
Crow: All right, if you're so smart what would you call H. R. Puffenstuff.
Tom: That's a costume, remember the puppet paradigm, Feet plus inarticulated mouth means costume.
Crow: What about Yoda?
Tom: Well, Yoda was a humanly articulated floating armature creature, used in combination with radio controlled servos and air bladders...
Crow: What about it, puppet or costume, Tom. Come on!
Tom: All right you got me, I don't know!
Crow: See, I rest my case! Here's one for you. What would you call Senor Wences The man who built a career out of talking to his hand?
Tom: I call that, a cry for help.
Crow: Interesting...

Invention Exchange: The mads invent giant noses...

Joel: What's the point of the big noses, anyway?
Dr. F.: Well, they're.. really big! Think of all the stuff you can do with them!
Frank: Right! Now I can brown nose myself!

Joel invents a big head. The bots sing a song about it. Pretty neat but you just have to see it.

Host Segments: First commercial break segment begins in the theater where Servo is feeling really bad. He feels ill. While they're watching the movie Servo's head explodes and Joel & Crow rush outside with his lifeless body.

Joel: Servo! Oh my God, Tom Servo is dead!! He's dying it must have been that movie! Oh, man, we're losing him!
Crow(in Shatner Voice): A robot watches a bad film, it renders him... unconscious, next on Emergency 9-1-1.
::Joel smacks Crow on the beak::
Joel: Crow, you gotta snap outta Shatner and help me! It means the life of our friend, Tom Servo!
Crow: But I must finish Tekwars & Venusia, must direct Star Trek 9: The search for Spock's intelligence.. Hooker's a good cop.. (slipping in and out of Shatner) Oooh.. he's a good ooh... ..
Joel: Crow, you listen to me and you listen good! I need you to snap out of Shatner, I need you here now! Our friend's life hangs in the balance!
Crow(Sobbing uncontrollably): I'm sorry, Joel I didn't know! Waahaaa!!!
Joel: I know man, I know. But we got to get our little buddy out of the Bone Orchard, ok? Listen, I need you to run along and get the defibrulator and I'm gonna try to get our brother Tommy out of the badlands.
Crow: Hey, Joel, is the defribulator the thing that looks like the vacuum cleaner or the thing that looks like the battery charger?
Joel: It's the thing that looks like the battery charger, now would you get it together, man, and get out here, it means Tom Servo's life! Hurry up, buddy!
Crow: all right, all right, here I come...
Joel: Ok, hold on, Buddy, he's coming.Come on old Tom, come on back, buddy! CLEAR!!
Crow: Clear!
::Joel Zaps Servo then puts his ear up to his chest::
Joel: Nothing!! CLEAR!!!
Crow: Clear!
::Joel Zaps him again and puts his ear to his chest::
Joel: He's coming back! He's coming back!
Crow: Come on, Tommy!
::Tom is incoherently mumbling what seems to be a baseball game in a sportscaster voice::
Tom: Joel, Crow.. what the heck happened to me?
Joel: It's ok, buddy, you're among the living now.
Tom: That was weird.. I was going down a long hallway, and at the end of it there was a bright light a kind man with a beard reaching his hand out to me, beckoning me, and he looked at me as I got closer.. and said: “Hey buddy, can you spare some change? I want a cup of coffee!” ::Giggles uncontrollably::
Joel: Everything's a joke to you, that's great we've got commercial sign.
Crow: We should have let you die!
Tom: Ahhh, life!
::Commercial sign music::

Joel & the bots make a commercial for a new Star Force Line of Action Figures:

Tom: New from the Star Force line of Action figures: It's Captain Joe, the boozy, brawling. bloated Bacus Three Commander from the Beloved Fugitive Alien series!
Crow: Dizy Gilespie Cheeks sold seperately!
Tom: Yes, he swaggers, he staggers and he even talks!
Joel (As Cap'n Joe): Ummm, A fella would do a lot worse than throw in with Bacus 3, set'em up, barkeep! *hic*
Crow: Flask and travel bar not included
Tom: Yes you'll be in a constant state of excitement while he's in a state of denial!
Joel(As Cap'n Joe): I only drink on the weekends! I can drink!
Crow: Existential void where prohibited.
Tom: Sure, he's got a problem, but you don't have to watch him deteriorate, after all you spent $9.95 for him!
Crow: Tax and license not included!
Tom: You can have have hours of fun as you organize a Crisis intervention for Captain Joe.
Joel(as Ken doll): Captian Joe, I'm not going to sit here and watch you deteriorate!
Joel(as Barbie doll): Captain Joe, when Ken and I had you over to eat, you got drunk on cooking cheri, and made a pass at me and threw up all over the Malibu Dreamhouse.
Joel(as TMNT action figure): Captain Joe, dude, I loved you, but I'm not going to sit here and watch you Cowabungle your life!
Tom: And don't forget kids, if Captain Joe refuses to deal with the issues you can always...
All(Singing): Try and kill him with a forklift.
Crow: 12 step workbook optional, product not included in some boxes, Joe Nameth Netted slingshot for each sold seperately!
We've got Movie sign!!

Our Heroes come out of the theater singing...

This is the song starting off our medley

Our favorite Fugitive Alien Song...

Don't try to kill us with a forklift

Won't take very long

Relax and sing along...

Tom: Thank you, Thank you...
Crow: You know, Tommy, a movie like Fugitive Alien, can make you cry, and it can make you cry. But the thing I treasure most, and I'm speaking from the heart here, this is totally off script, is the music.
Tom: Oh, this is so true, Mon Crow, Songs of love, and adventure, and if I may, Whimsy, no? Hehehe But you know, my favorite was the heart rending ballad in which the wistful Tammy pledges her love to Ken.
Crow: It goes a little something like this... *ahem*
Tom: 2... 3... 4...

 

Crow	Tom
I Love Ken he is my sweet friend and I love him	I Love Ken he is my sweet friend and I love him
I'm so blue cause I don't think Ken Loves me	I'm so blue cause I don't think Ken Loves me
I'm all messed up inside I might have to off him	I'm all messed up inside I might have to off him
I'll frame Rocky and get away scot free	I'll frame Rocky and get away scot free
I Love Ken he is my sweet friend and I love him	Feres Jaques Feres Jaques
I'm so blue cause I don't think Ken Loves me	Dorme vous, dorme vous. Sonne lematina, sonne lematina
I'm all messed up inside I might have to off him	Ding dong ding, Ding dong ding, I saw three ships come sailing in on Christmas day on Christmas day
I'll frame Rocky and get away scot free	I saw three ships come sailing in on Christmas day in the morning, I love Ken, I love Ken

Joel: Alright! This band is marvelous, aren't they ladies and gentlemen? Cambot Brown and his band renowned! Give it up for them!

It's got a real cool feel

Flying high with the Star Wolf

We're firing up the ship

And we're hitting the town

With Groovy Ken and Tammy

Swinging Rocky and Joe

And those two other guys who we don't really know (forget them!)

Lay down the boogie and head for the stars, man!

Gypsy: Thanks Joel! Boy, that was fun, but if I could get a little serious for a moment, well, I was wondering where we'd be without our boys and girls in shiny red pleather. It makes me proud to know that they're out there, somewhere.

Look and you see flying from ????????

Fighting for you and me, Captain Joe and the gang

?????? ??????? ??????? ??????? ???????

Joel: That's really good, Gypsy, do you want to do one with me?
Tom: Lets all do it...

We, are gonna find Sandy Frank

We just wanna ask him why

We wanna stick it to Sandy Frank

And sit on his chest and gob on his face

and make him cryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Tom: Yeah!
Joel: Lets take it home!
Crow: I'm feeling really good!
Tom: Feels so good it shoes!

And that's our song, we hope that you enjoyed it

And if you thought that it was stupid and dry

Come on and kill us with a forklift

All we want to do

With love from us to you

Is siiiiiing the Fugitive Alien song!!!

::Joel gives a big dating game kiss to Gypsy hitting Tom in the process::
Tom: Yah! wha? Ho! Hi-keeba!
::Commercial Sign::

Conclusion: The bots are looking through the Leonard Maltin Movie Guide in hopes of shooting the mads a memo on which movies they'd like to see. Then Joel and the bots get to talking about how they would make the ultimate evil person.

Tom: Lets see... I'd combine the Wolfman, Mothra, and the Bad Lee Marvin from ??? ???
Crow: Oh yeah, that's great! I'd take Tom T. Hall, add Roy Clark, and a little Donna Fargo.
Tom: Oh, the possibilities! Richard Nixon, Richard the 3rd, Keith Richards... You know, but according to the Fellowship of the white four Richard the Third was actually a fine man and a good sovereign...
Joel: You know, I don't even think of Keith Richards as that evil, you know...
Tom: Oh, but he's so scary!
Gypsy: Richard Baseheart, Richard Baseheart and Richard Baseheart
Joel: But Gypsy, you like Richard Baseheart.
Gypsy: Ooohhh
Crow: How about uhh, Howie Mandel, David Brenner and Gallagher.
Tom: Yeah, Or David Brenner, Andy Rooney, David Brenner and a Ferret!
Joel: Oooh, that one stung!
Crow: Personally, I hate mondays
Joel: Yeah...

Book: Kevin compares this show to Sitcoms like Fresh Prince of Bel Air or Friends... ICK!

Favorite Lines:

::The "Tried to kill him with a forklift" Horns start playing as the crew is dying::
Joel: What a way to die, listening to the Tijuana brass!

::Tammy is looking at the radar screen::
Tammy: That red spot isn't moving
Tom(As Tammy): But it's healing nicely...

Favorite Observations:

As the crew is walking along a desert and ducks behind a dune Crow points out some corn growing next to them

 

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