All the cards shown below are printed on heavy, glossy-coated exterior stock, come with envelope, and retail for $2.50 each. Available from our website in special half-dozens
($12 -- save 20 percent!) or dozens ($21 -- save 30 percent!).


Click on the thumbnail above to see a larger version of the image

Hybrid - GU157

Apparently the big guy decided to start driving a hybrid.

Inside: Happy Holidays

Half-Dozen (6) $12

Dozen (12) $21

Click on the thumbnail above to see a larger version of the image

Cold Front - GU159

I never even knew my dad. Mom said he was a cold front passing through from Canada.

Inside: Happy Holidays

Half-Dozen (6) $12

Dozen (12) $21

Click on the thumbnail above to see a larger version of the image

Tote Bag - GU158

And if you bring gifts at the $200 level, in addition to the milk and cookies, you’ll receive this lovely tote bag.

Inside: Season's Greetings

Half-Dozen (6) $12

Dozen (12) $21

Click on the thumbnail above to see a larger version of the image

Driver Carries 20 - GU149

Inside: Season's Greetings

Half-Dozen (6) $12

Dozen (12) $21

Click on the thumbnail above to see a larger version of the image

Bethlehem Galleria - GU150

Three not-so-wise men wait until Christmas Eve to shop at the Bethlehem Galleria...

Well, according to the registry, the only things left are the monogrammed manger blanket and the Burberry plaid swaddling clothes.

Inside: Happy Holidays.

Half-Dozen (6) $12

Dozen (12) $21

Click on the thumbnail above to see a larger version of the image

Holy Crap - GU151

And lo, after the wise men departed, unto Mary was also bestowed a gift...

holy crap!

Inside: Season's Greetings

Half-Dozen (6) $12

Dozen (12) $21

Click on the thumbnail above to see a larger version of the image

Catch & Release - GU138

John & Cynthia couldn't bear to take a Christmas tree away from its home in the wilderness, so they practiced "catch & release"...

Inside: Season's Greetings

Half-Dozen (6) $12

Dozen (12) $21

Click on the thumbnail above to see a larger version of the image

Downsized Elves - GU133

The numbers had never been better at Elftech, but employee unrest continued to simmer…

First, they move the whole operation to the “beautiful tax-free North Pole”... then we all get downsized.

Inside: Season's Greetings

Half-Dozen (6) $12

Dozen (12) $21

Click on the thumbnail above to see a larger version of the image

Ozone Layer - GU137

Yeah, this hole in the ozone layer thing is starting to get people a little on edge.

Inside: Happy Holidays

Half-Dozen (6) $12

Dozen (12) $21

Click on the thumbnail above to see a larger version of the image

Drummer Boy - GU117

After playing for his newborn King, the little drummer boy went back & trashed his room at the Bethlehem Hyatt, then passed out in a pool of vomit…

Inside: Season's Greetings

Half-Dozen (6) $12

Dozen (12) $21

Click on the thumbnail above to see a larger version of the image

Elf Spam - GU119

Sue’s elf spam filter clearly wasn’t up to the task.

From: Sparkle Elf,
North Pole, freezebrrr@yahoo.com

Dear Lady or Gentleman: My employer, Mr. S. Claus, died recently in a reindeer explosion, leaving behind thousands of undistributed toys worth millions of U.S. Dollars. I am looking for a wise investor to send me funds so I can ship myself and the toys to your country, where I will sell them and share 35% of all proceeds.

Despite what you may have heard, the toys are free from drug and money laundering related offenses.

With utmost sincerity, Sparkle.

Inside: Happy Holidays

Half-Dozen (6) $12

Dozen (12) $21

Click on the thumbnail above to see a larger version of the image

Three Aces - GU122

Suddenly it was clear the Three Kings wouldn’t make it to Bethlehem by Christmas.

Inside: Happy Holidays

Half-Dozen (6) $12

Dozen (12) $21

Click on the thumbnail above to see a larger version of the image

Snowmen - GU101

Inside: Happy Holidays

Half-Dozen (6) $12

Dozen (12) $21

Click on the thumbnail above to see a larger version of the image

Christmas Tree Lot - GU102

The last thing Douglas remembered, he had been napping at his home on the north fork of the Nooksack River.

Where am I?… I, uh — I can’t feel my roots! For the love of God, I can’t feel my roots!

Inside: Season's Greetings

Half-Dozen (6) $12

Dozen (12) $21

Click on the thumbnail above to see a larger version of the image

Desert Island - GU103

Have you no decency?! My God, man, just take me with you!!

Inside: Season's Greetings

Half-Dozen (6) $12

Dozen (12) $21

Click on the thumbnail above to see a larger version of the image

Manic Santa - GU104

His friends and family just called him “jolly,” but the truth was that Santa was prone to severe manic episodes…

…And you know what I could do? I could give everybody a present! Everybody in the whole world! And I could make them all myself… or… or… I could get some elves to help me — yeah! And then… and then… I could deliver them myself… in one night! Yes, deliver a present to everyone in the world in one night!

Inside: Happy Holidays

Half-Dozen (6) $12

Dozen (12) $21

Click on the thumbnail above to see a larger version of the image

Rudolph on steroids - GU105

Though a story about his nose was leaked to the media, it was his rampant steroid abuse that kept Rudolph out of the reindeer games.

Inside: Happy Holidays

Half-Dozen (6) $12

Dozen (12) $21

Click on the thumbnail above to see a larger version of the image

Galley slaves - GU106

Work has been so crazy, and I haven’t had a minute to shop… I might as well tell you — I’m your secret Santa.

Inside: Season's Greetings

Half-Dozen (6) $12

Dozen (12) $21

Click on the thumbnail above to see a larger version of the image

Polar Bears - GU107

Yup, I’m definitely tasting a hint of peppermint.

Inside: Season's Greetings

Half-Dozen (6) $12

Dozen (12) $21

Click on the thumbnail above to see a larger version of the image

French hens - GU108

Backstage at the 12 days of Christmas…

Inside: Happy Holidays

Half-Dozen (6) $12

Dozen (12) $21
Greetings from Uranus • 2209 Young Street • Bellingham WA 98225 USA • info@uranusgreetings.com
All images and text © Greetings from Uranus. If you respect Uranus, Uranus will respect you.