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 Hybrid - GU157
Apparently the big guy decided to start driving a hybrid.
Inside: Happy Holidays
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Cold Front - GU159
I never even knew my dad. Mom said he was a cold front passing through from Canada.
Inside: Happy Holidays
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Tote Bag - GU158
And if you bring gifts at the $200 level, in addition to the milk and cookies, you’ll receive this lovely tote bag.
Inside: Season's Greetings
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Driver Carries 20 - GU149
Inside: Season's Greetings
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Bethlehem Galleria - GU150
Three not-so-wise men wait until Christmas Eve to shop at the Bethlehem Galleria...
Well, according to the registry, the only things left are the monogrammed manger blanket and the Burberry plaid swaddling clothes.
Inside: Happy Holidays.
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Holy Crap - GU151
And lo, after the wise men departed, unto Mary was also bestowed a gift...
holy crap!
Inside: Season's Greetings
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Catch & Release - GU138
John & Cynthia couldn't bear to take a Christmas tree away from its home in the wilderness, so they practiced "catch & release"...
Inside: Season's Greetings
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Downsized Elves - GU133
The numbers had never been better at Elftech, but employee unrest continued to simmer…
First, they move the whole operation to the “beautiful tax-free North Pole”... then we all get downsized.
Inside: Season's Greetings
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Ozone Layer - GU137
Yeah, this hole in the ozone layer thing is starting to get people a little on edge.
Inside: Happy Holidays
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Drummer Boy - GU117
After playing for his newborn King, the little drummer boy went back & trashed his room at the Bethlehem Hyatt, then passed out in a pool of vomit…
Inside: Season's Greetings
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Elf Spam - GU119
Sue’s elf spam filter clearly wasn’t up to the task.
From: Sparkle Elf,
North Pole, freezebrrr@yahoo.com
Dear Lady or Gentleman: My employer, Mr. S. Claus, died recently in a reindeer explosion, leaving behind thousands of undistributed toys worth millions of U.S. Dollars. I am looking for a wise investor to send me funds so I can ship myself and the toys to your country, where I will sell them and share 35% of all proceeds.
Despite what you may have heard, the toys are free from drug and money laundering related offenses.
With utmost sincerity, Sparkle.
Inside: Happy Holidays
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Three Aces - GU122
Suddenly it was clear the Three Kings wouldn’t make it to Bethlehem by Christmas.
Inside: Happy Holidays
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Snowmen - GU101
Inside: Happy Holidays
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Christmas Tree Lot - GU102
The last thing Douglas remembered, he had been napping at his home on the north fork of the Nooksack River.
Where am I?… I, uh — I can’t feel my roots! For the love of God, I can’t feel my roots!
Inside: Season's Greetings
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Desert Island - GU103
Have you no decency?! My God, man, just take me with you!!
Inside: Season's Greetings
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Manic Santa - GU104
His friends and family just called him “jolly,” but the truth was that Santa was prone to severe manic episodes…
…And you know what I could do? I could give everybody a present! Everybody in the whole world! And I could make them all myself… or… or… I could get some elves to help me — yeah! And then… and then… I could deliver them myself… in one night! Yes, deliver a present to everyone in the world in one night!
Inside: Happy Holidays
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Rudolph on steroids - GU105
Though a story about his nose was leaked to the media, it was his rampant steroid abuse that kept Rudolph out of the reindeer games.
Inside: Happy Holidays
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Galley slaves - GU106
Work has been so crazy, and I haven’t had a minute to shop… I might as well tell you — I’m your secret Santa.
Inside: Season's Greetings
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Polar Bears - GU107
Yup, I’m definitely tasting a hint of peppermint.
Inside: Season's Greetings
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French hens - GU108
Backstage at the 12 days of Christmas…
Inside: Happy Holidays
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