The Positives

I have read and re-read this section of my page. To me it seems to have consistancy and relates to the message of "this is the new Tom..."

I just posted a message on the Paddlewise list.... Essentially I asked if there might be a "Seattle-ite" out there who would be willing to parnter up with me-help me get my kayak to the water... That was, two days ago and I have recieved no answers... This may sound silly but I had hoped for/still hope for a positive answer... Lordy, I want to get back in the water again...

I wonder-do non-TBI survivors find me, or other survivors somekind of a threat? How could that be I wonder? If that is not true, is my hobby one that simply does not lend its self to giving another a hand for a while?

Perhaps I've got it all wrong-while I know, and have demonstrated that I can indeed paddle my yak-maybe to the world, I have become some sort of liability-and should therefore be shunned, like some loathsome creature on the bottom of a river...

Well... Like most things that I still want to do-I'll find some way to do this-it will take time, and managing time is a problem for most all of us.. but I'll get there-ALONE if I have to... perhaps some day I'll understand why I must do these things alone... No telling...

3/4/99

There have been some changes in my life since writing this. I have found out that my stamina really can be measured in units of three and a half to four hours, that I can indeed drive, and handle taking my kayak to the water. Hah! No absolute NEED for a paddling partner! I don't mean that as anti-social, rather that I have demonstrated more independence! I NEED to do that...

Now as for being able to "feel" when I have overextended myself physically? Nahhhh... I kinda bunged up my chest muscles last time out and it took a week to recover my ability to take a deep breath without significant pain...:) Soooo... I'll be more careful. Heh, got almost no sense of smell, taste, and in some cases I guess, pain. With all of those, it must be significant to be sensed... hehhh... oh well...

The story continues on the next page of "The positives..."