The Positives

As I mentioned before, I came out here in the spring of '97 with much more "baggage" than I ever considered. Like the good worker that I had proven myself to be, I started work on myself. I hired a therapist with experience in dealing with abuse victims. I had some inheritance, I had some time, and of course I had a kayak-what could go wrong?

Please note: I did a bit of journalizing prior to my accident-it is what has helped me gain some idea of what was going on in my head before the accident-much of those memories are gone...

The accident went wrong. My perception was that I was involved with a very threatening person and needed to "escape..." My more recent memories indicate that I asked her once, to "stop the van..." Failing that, I forcefully directed her to "Stop the da_n VAN!" I was frightened-behaviors I perceived lead me to believe that, as was common when I was a child, something painful was to befall me shortly.

I am told that I opened the sliding door and stepped out of the van, as it was in the process [evidently] of making a turn. When the van was stopped and the driver came to check on me lying face down on the pavement-I didn't respond. Fortunately a passing motorist had a cell phone and within minutes Paramedics were on the scene. They checked me out and based upon those results, figured that they would do what they could, but that their expectation was that I had spent my last day on earth. The Paramedics attempted to console the driver, but also be truthful...

I was transported to Harborview Emergency and The Neurologists were slightly more hopeful... but not much.

My head was opened, my brothers were contacted, they agreed to an experimental drug combination to help protect my neurons.

Within hours my brothers were on an airplane heading for Seattle-the word they got was that for now the prognosis was uncertain...

My head swelled, a helmet was procured for me, I had tubes for feeding me inserted, and electronics hooked in-must'ave been something! I was-as mentioned in other areasof this page, busy paddling my kayak...

I am told that I tried to "escape" the hospital room so often that restraints were applied, but it took three days of trying various methods, before the staff had success.

The story continues on the next page of "The positives..."