8/09/99

I've had to take it easier past few days-brain hikes were getting to be a problem and just "giving up" and re-focusing on day to day things is the only thing that I seem to be able to do to solve the problem.

I brought up "craniotomy" on the TBI list the other day, and got few responses from people whose surgery happened to be that. I guess that I must accept that a craniotomy is not as prevelent as I thought it was...

I look around me, and let my mind do what it can with looking at my future [I'm not so good at that as I have expressed...] with some bit of concern. When I can get "recovered enough [in mind and finances] I will have to find someone to attempt to deal with my tax situation. That thought brings some amount of fear to me...

But, I cannot do that now... heck, I'm not sure when I will be able to paddle my kayak, let alone deal with taxes from before my accident... I have tried to keep any paperwork I got, so that there will be a way to do it...

I have done my best to keep my tools, my kayak stuff, and my tv/computer... It looks like I have a new leak in my roof of this old RV, and I have a problem with ants-I don't know what to do about them...

It was nice when I had a whole brain!

I am lucky that I worked at a relatively high paying blue collar job prior to my accident-my SSDI payment is near what my original full-time check was-but Washington State charges $300+ for license [for my truck] fees due in December.

I am trying to quit smoking-I can better afford living if I do that.

Though I can now [thanks to 01 July] see better how I "messed up this life of mine" the challenge will be to essentially start all over.

I am still looking for a direction. News from my therapist indicates that computers may well be a proper direction, with cabinet making being the other direction. The cabinetmaking is basically required-in order to "re-make" connections to enable fine motor control, as well as "turning" will allow me to practice "problem solving".

I am down to half pack of "lights" but the process is troublesome to be sure.

Essentially, when I had my accident [looking for safety] I got stuck with needing to "start all over" in so many areas...

Forgive me for whining today-there must be solutions out there...

Take good care,

Tom...