Will it Byte?


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As I have said before in this column, given the hectic pace that the Internet is growing at, one can expect some casualties. At first glance, it would appear that this is not stopping anyone... Sure enough, some people just end up decorating someone's radiator as they cruise merrily (and ignorantly) down the Infobahn. When one drives a steamroller on the Info-Highway, these are the kind of people who are worth ten points.

For some of the technoheads out there, the idea that there's anyone who ISN'T making a mad rush for the Internet is inconceivable. They say that everyone has a get-rich-quick scheme that won't work, and you can see quite a few of them implemented on the Net.

Recently, one in particular caught my eye. The Send-Me-A-Dollar Website is just silly enough to actually work. The author, trying to earn a few bucks and get on David Letterman, has already netted over $70 from this site. It's the type of idea that makes you wonder, "Why didn't I think of that?"

Anyway, back to the subject at hand... The fact remains that there exists a segment of our society that is not rushing like mad toward the Internet. Some of these people live in caves and have been known to consider the tin-can phone the greatest technologial advancement sonce the discovery of the wheel (in which many of thm presumably participated.) Others, however, exist in our society. To the Internet, these people are known as the luddites.

Occasionally, one of these luddites will go to extremes. Perhaps the most visible example of a luddite goin' postal is the Unabomber. (I can just imagine what Christmas must be like at his house... "You open yours first." "No, YOU open yours first!") This, however, is (thankfully) rare. Most luddites function as normal members of non-computer society. In fact, some of your best friends may be luddites. Here are a few signs that someone is a luddite:

There are a few luddites, however who have been "swept along hopelessly by the tide of history" and have been plunked down onto the Info Highway. Rather than wait for perpetually sarcastic Net columnists to seal their fate as roadkill, they have actually made several Web sites. One of these is Luddites On-Line. What I wonder is how one who is afraid of technology can even have a Web site...)

You have to wonder what the underlying cause of ludditism is. Maybe Luddites exist as a method of appeasement for the salespeople at electronics stores, therefore keeping them away from more critical tasks in which an extended three-year warranty isn't needed. Possibly, one day the technophobes will save our society by still exosting when everyone has been turned into a cyborg. But for now, they provide us techies with enough dumb computer questions to last us easily until the next millenium.

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Copyright (C) 1996 Brian Lutz. All rights reserved. Anything you read here can and will be used as evidence in a court of law..

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