Time to Meet Asma...

Bangalore seemed to me to be a very peaceful place from the moment that I got off of the plane. Maybe it was the decrease in pollution, because even the air seemed more peaceful than in Delhi. I was greeted at the airport by Dr. Mumtaz Ali Khan, the Project Administrator for Integrated Family Welfare Unit (IFWU - Asma's project), who was my host, and a woman named Noorjohara. She is a member of the board. They greeted me warmly and took me home to Dr. Khan's home for a "rest" before I was to go meet Asma later in the day. I had no interest in taking a "rest", but as I discovered before long, it seems that wealthy people (which I was by virtue of being a sponsor and a caucasian) are almost expected to "rest" at least once a day.

Of course, being that I was a week into my trip, my body loved the idea of resting, so I fell sound asleep. When I awoke, I discovered the IFWU staff sitting in the meeting room next door to my room. They were just finishing their lunch. I was amused to see every single one of them sitting with the same posture, reading a newspaper.

The IFWU staff is comprised mostly of women, and completely of young folks. They were very welcoming from the first moment that I met them, and I felt very comfortable with them.

Finally, about 4:30 in the afternoon, the big moment arrived. Dr. Khan, Gangamma (Asma's social worker), some other people (I can't even remember who) drove to Asma's house to meet her... As we were driving over, I got a little nervous. "Hmmm... think it's too late to change my mind?" I thought to myself...

As we drove up to the door, people started slowly appearing (from Asma's house, from neighboring houses, everywhere...) Within seconds, Asma came out of the doorway. The next several moments are a blur. I remember being surprised that she is as small as she is, and that she is even more beautiful than I expected. Her whole family, except her father, was there, and dressed in their best clothes.

I was quickly ushered into the house. Boy, was it crowded! The eight members of her family, plus myself and 3 or 4 IFWU staff members crammed into a house that consisted of 2 rooms. The front room was about 7 ft. by 8 ft., the back room was even smaller, and the kitchen consisted of a counter about 6 ft. long, and enough floor space to stand at the counter. Although it was small, the house was very well maintained. To paraphrase a term used by Habitat for Humanity, to me it seemed 'simple and decent'.

The main room held a twin sized bed (a piece of plywood on a bed frame), a table with a TV on it, and 2 small chairs. When I arrived, the table was filled with food, and more was being brought from the kitchen. They had obviously spent a lot of money, buying fresh fruit, biscuits, cakes, Pepsi, etc.

When we entered the house, I was instructed to sit on the bed. Everyone stood around me. I had worked very hard to memorize the names from a list that Asma had sent to me, so I wanted to show off my knowledge. Judging by size, I figured that this person was the oldest brother, so he must be... After I had gone through the list, I realized that I hadn't seen Nazeema, Asma's older sister. Looking around the room, I found a girl that was about the right age, and said, "Nazeema?" Much to my embarrassment, it was Asma that I was referring to! That definitely lightened up the situation.

Almost immediately, Asma sat down next to me and began to feed me. Hospitality is very important in the Indian culture, and a main ingredient of hospitality is to feed the guest. No one else was offered food. Very quickly, I realized that I was expected to eat the entire spread! Or, at least as much of it as Asma could force on me... I was also immediately decorated with flowers in my hair, and a garland around my neck, as well as given a package of roses. Boy, did I feel spoiled! It was a little overwhelming.

I had expected Asma to be shy. Heck, I felt shy too... But, she was very shy. Shortly after we sat down on the bed, she said very quietly, "You're very beautiful." Of course, I loved hearing that! But then, I'm sure that she had planned to say that even before she saw me... :) Looking back, I think that it took about all of the courage that she had to make that statement, and she quickly focused on her job: to feed me everything in sight...

We stayed there about a half an hour or an hour. When it was time to leave, we parted with hugs and lots of pictures. (I got some beautiful pictures of Salma (9) and Siddiq (6), Asma's younger sister and brother.)

This was a wonderful visit, but just a start. It is my understanding that when most sponsor's visit, they only stay a few hours. They have this sort of a meeting with their child, and then continue traveling. If I had stayed only this one day, I would have missed so much. Asma and I both needed time to become comfortable with each other. In fact, later in this dissertation, you'll see that my visit to Asma's house 8 days later was much different than this first visit.